Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Randomize
