Whod you bang
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize