just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
