one might say we're banned from that church
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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