i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
