Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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