Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
