I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
