: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Randomize
