guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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