So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
