I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
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