I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
