I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
