If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
this boner is exhausting
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
