Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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