Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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