Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
