You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
