The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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