That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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