I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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