I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
so much tequila, so little girl.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
