he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
