it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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