Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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