super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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