She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
