South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
