I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
