she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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