Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
