i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
