i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
