You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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