I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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