They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
