She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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