12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
