If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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