WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
