I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
