WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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