I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
