You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Randomize
