So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
