And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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