I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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