p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
