We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
