with your own penis?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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