Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
