you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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