So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I need to calm my uterus...
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
