Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
