I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
