He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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