im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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