He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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