she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Randomize
