Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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