i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Randomize
