can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
No I am not eating basil off your cock
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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