Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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