Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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