She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
