yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
