so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
