The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
