You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
