I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
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