You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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