Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
