Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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